Writing Reality

As I watched PBS' Big Cat series, survival runs through my mind. The lions, leopards and cheetahs all have to defend their territories. They need to eat. So, those that are carnivorous have to murder other species to get food to survive. I ask myself, if that is the same for us humans, here now. I'm not convinced it is.  So, then why are we going for more? More of things we will not be here to partake in. A person can have and enjoy just so much fun before it impinges on the rest of society. Yet we think that's okay, because its always been done. Not in my miniscule world it hasn't.  We could get down and dirty even on my ability to eat, to care, to move about in a variety of ways; however, what I've witnessed in throughout my life, are the people who having the most: The most in people loving them. The most compliments. The most friends.The ability to gain the most out of their education and also to advance in the educational realms.They put pavement over other peo...

I t was the end of the bus rides, as the day had been long. Fifteen hours of bus rides after graduating in my Alphas earlier that day. Then Fifteen hours on buses to get to my first assigned base. Too, I'd been careful not to soil any pressed and shined part of me. So, to be sat, I'd refrained from food and beverage for nearly a day.  It was my last bus ride. As I'd sat alone with the bus driver in the dark bus for a while. A nice black man was the bus driver. He'd made conversation at the right time for me. As he'd read me well.  "So, I'm just gonna' let you know. They'll be these Marines I'm picking up from Court Street, ma'am. They'll be a little drunk. It'll be okay." Not knowing exactly what he'd inferred. "Okay. Thank you, Sir." I'd not been asleep coming on 24 hours. Yet I was well-aware and wide awake. A feeling of the unknown I'd had, as those Marines in civilian attire loaded up from Court Stre...

It s funny how we deem what is safe, secure, doable. I knew by age eight that I had no saving grace. My parents were merely human. My dad was not going to rescue me under most circumstances. Would he try? I wanted to think so. Yet back then, understanding how fallible we were as human beings; I accepted the fact that when push came to shove, the truth was I was alone even then in this world. I had to become my own saving grace. My own hero. And if I could be there for someone else, then I would. Many decades later in 2008, as I'd attempted to race at the U.S. National 24-Hour Championships in Texas, this while still bleeding out just a few days after a burst ovarian cyst put me onto our toilet back and forth with dry heaves included. Then put me onto a floor sideways. That was only after I'd gotten our children's lunches made and packed. Cooked and served them breakfast bent in half. Telling them, "Mom just doesn't feel too good. Its okay." I'd paused. ...

After reading Tom Ridge's book, "The Test of Our Times", as I've read about historical events and such regularly. Now for the part of awareness and accepting certain feelings as 'just is'. Because you're just you. I'll bring us to what I was reminded of this morning upon reflection of a recent conversation.  Decades ago in the Marines, I took a course that was not required at the time by Marines. You took it to gain rank. Then eventually about a year later they threw it to our unit for an afternoon, for a general brief lesson. It was, how to wear a suit to be protected from things like nerve agents, going into areas after Chemical, Biological and Nuclear warfare agents have occurred. The course I took was way more than a day of studies. From my notes I have it was over the course of months.  It was broken down into sections under each area of warfare. Like Chemical agents of nerve, blood, choking, blistering and so forth. It would be hitting different ...

Just so you know, unlike what our youngest daughter thinks; I'm not paranoid. I'm aware. As a of matter of fact, I've kept myself aware most of my life over 90% of the time. Being aware, is not about fear. Awareness, is a preparation. Preparation for the things I know people will do, whether they should or they shouldn't. Its like a vibe.  You know we all have that ability. Yet most of us live such unclean, unclear lives we lose the tapping into the congruent vibe that is gifted to each of us, each individually.  Instead, we dive into paranoia. Then we feel anxious, too privately foolish. Or we're made to feel such. I'm not here to make you feel anxious nor foolish. I'm here to point out your ability to be aware. To clean up your act. Stop your OTC drug use, that you take without question or physician’s prescription. Limit your over all or any alcohol usage for a year or ever. Reduce your over indulgence in foods you know like sugar to name one, caffeine, an...

      As I awaited having my first cup of coffee doing chores—I wondered why or what it was that made me, even to this day of having the urge to save the world... so to speak.     The last two nights before bed I watched nature shows. That’s unusual for me.  It’s usually one night of nature and a science show spread out once a week. My usual was anything with law, anything heroic, historical figures, strategies were my preference—I'd begun to prefer series type shows.     Reading books, I gravitate towards autobiographical, historical people, events and how they climbed out of the event(s). Finally, this morning I asked myself, 'What have I been looking for?' What is it in heroism that I feel near to? Or that I feel is necessary—Heroism, or rescuing, being the rescuer. What is that about? Why do I still feel the urge since I could ever remember?      I thought that it could be the feel good feeling. It...

The Other Day... I was foodshopping. As I went to check out, I met a new cashier. Oh, by the way, how I meet new cashiers is that I rotate where I shop. It's not necessarily for lower prices. Its actually to save on time and gas dollars. I'd been doing this mindful shopping since I could drive in 1980, even though my mother wanted me to get my license the year before as I could have. I just didn't want to rush the responsibility of driving too soon. It was as well as I was aware of pollution and the usage of fossil fuels. So, the other day as I'd finished up shopping I headed to the cashier who'd not had anyone in line. All other cashiers were busy. She, Roxy as was on her name tag. Her set up was next to the customer service desk.  Roxy appeared old-fashioned in the sense you could tell that she took pride in her appearance by her makeup. It was what I'd witnessed as a child in the 1960s.  Roxy appeared near my age. Yet I realized she may be about 8-10 years my...