Writing Reality

Even in the rain it was an enjoyable run. I’d been struggling with my running more than normal. Yes, struggling is part of running. I would venture to say five of seven days per week of running are most difficult for me. My little sister, in 1994 at age 18 thought running long-distance was easy for me. I explained to her as my husband, and I took her away in June of 1994 to Disney in Florida. It was our high school graduation gift to her. She’d brought up the running subject because I’d just run eight miles that afternoon in what was Florida’s humid and 107-degree, sunny weather that day. She stated, “Running is so easy for you…” I remarked, “No. Running is difficult most days for me. And I think it’s difficult for most long-distance runners initially and the difficult runs ebb and flow. But most days, you have to encourage yourself to get out and run the miles.” She was stunned. Many years ago, our youngest daughter loved to talk about earthworms. It was her curiosity of where...

  I Run That’s what I do. I run, not to run away but towards. I run with severe commitment, whether anyone is watching me or not—I imagine perhaps no one is watching. I run under-the-wire, with my own insignificance. Just a temporary grain of sand made of stardust and ash perhaps. Yes, I’ve competed in hundreds of running events and have done my own charitable runs; however, many times it was to give me an excuse to put in massive amounts of miles for my own scientific reasons. Some people run to socialize, I don’t. Many compete for a prize; I have found that has not been all of my driving force to run for miles or hours after hours. I’ve competed many times hoping to win, to show my running was not for naught. But no matter how much I demonstrated outside of my insignificant world of long-distance running, it was still unacceptable to those I was trying to stop from hating me for my different approaches to living—they felt that their knowing of my running impinged upon their l...

  ... that I may not receive. By now I've figured out who the enemies of our democracy are. Yes, its the current occupiers of our white house, majority of those in the house and the senate. But wait there's more. Its people I'd considered part of my inner circle, and they are no longer there. Some still think we have a connection, but we don't.   I've always been leary of most. There's a fragmented position in friendships. I'll explain.  Most people who are my friends don't know it. And there have been many who thought I was their friend, but I wasn't. I have had so many people fooled into believing I was for them to the point others later said privately, "I thought you guys were tight. Like you knew everything about them." The answer has been a collage of "No." Or perhaps, "Maybe". Its usually not confirmed to another. My husband was the only one who'd known the extensions of my friendships and how I'd actually ...

I awaken every morning with the thought of, 'What do others do?'. Its just a thought after I realize I'm still here. I still exist in this human vessel and I do thank my maker in that moment before I hit the button of non-sleep on my Fitbit. I arrive at thoughts with my hands clasped behind my head, something I'd seen my now deceased husband do many years ago. However, I don't believe our thoughts would be the same. Or perhaps anyone else's thoughts would be considered the same as mine. Because I am in my vessel and they have been in their's. As I lay there looking up and out with my hands clasped behind my head I take a deep breath and wonder what would happen if I just stayed here? Would it be as if my existence would be void of the vessel? Had I escaped the moments, hours, day for the time being? Would it matter to the world? Or at all? Does the world not continue to turn on its axis? One thing I know in those moments, is that for those fleeting moments...

Will our Democracy, Rule of Law be saved if we tread lightly? No. Large media outlets in general are giving that sensory dynamic off in their news reporting. And I'm certain we may not survive as a free nation that needs to buckle down on progress of freedom and equality for all. When we lose that ideology as a nation we've lost our freedoms even if we have people in power that look like us.  It appears as if someone took most of the Erin Brocovichs and Bob Woodwards and shut them out of the ability to record, report and/or video the truth; however, there are US citizens who are not reporters now filming and reporting what news media outlets refuse to do completely. When they omit information in their news report, their report becomes an untruth. The newspaper outlets are reporting hundreds of protestors when there are thousands. They're reporting thousands across our country when there were over 13 million protestors on one day. If we want the truth givers, like the electe...

Recently I spoke with a relative just days after his spouse of over 50 years had passed. I expressed the things I had to learn before my husband passed. It was mostly items such as the care and use of the lawn mower, our small generator (if needed), cleaning the dryer vent one to two times a year.  The beauty of our 36 year marriage was we shared nearly every chore. We didn't have landscapers, neither cleaning ladies. No, we were a typical middle class couple with two kids and three pets. And I can say, my husband was entrenched in our chores. We never had to ask one another much of anything when it came to that. However, as I've listened to people who'd suddenly lost a spouse of decades I noticed the difference in those relationships. As devoted as they were to each other, I had a woman over 20 years ago tell that she didn't know how to shut the water off in her home. She had no clue about their home in nearly every way. She'd then realized upon her husband's ...