I awaken every morning with the thought of, 'What do others do?'. Its just a thought after I realize I'm still here. I still exist in this human vessel and I do thank my maker in that moment before I hit the button of non-sleep on my Fitbit.
I arrive at thoughts with my hands clasped behind my head, something I'd seen my now deceased husband do many years ago.
However, I don't believe our thoughts would be the same. Or perhaps anyone else's thoughts would be considered the same as mine. Because I am in my vessel and they have been in their's.
As I lay there looking up and out with my hands clasped behind my head I take a deep breath and wonder what would happen if I just stayed here? Would it be as if my existence would be void of the vessel? Had I escaped the moments, hours, day for the time being? Would it matter to the world? Or at all? Does the world not continue to turn on its axis?
One thing I know in those moments, is that for those fleeting moments I have no worries. I don't feel the endless stream of worries that I hold dear to me. Its a great place to be when you're still inside the living, breathing vessel we call being human.
My next thoughts as I pray thanking whomever it is to thank for my breath. I turn on my stretching/yoga app on my Fitbit and begin 20-36 minutes of those exercises that will help me stand upright and maneuver my way through my day with less pain and dysfunction. I've done this now for the better part of over three decades of my over six decades alive here now. And in the last ten years, I've barely missed a morning of doing so.
Even if it had been at 12:30am before chores, a run, family, then work and so forth for the day. I am intelligent enough to know that I am responsible for the very thing my soul resides in.
I am well aware, and have been since the age I could recall that I am also responsible for my own safety, as well at times I have been responsible for not just the safety of relations, friends, but too people I've never met. Never lived near, I still have a responsibility for their safety as well.
I know I was born to think this way every day of my life. And I can say, at times it feels like an obstacle. Yet, it exists as I exist.
Upon reading up to here, the reader may think I haven't lived, nor helped anyone or that perhaps I come from money. That is far from the truth.
It is that I've lived many lives in 63 years now. I came from not much, brokenness, to a point an unfathomable lack of parenting at an early age yet one thing, I strongly knew right from wrong. It has been as if I were born with a strong sense of morals. That is indeed a blessing. And in knowing that, yesterday I explained that to our oldest on the phone.
What do we get from laboring, self-disciplined learning yet remaining thirsty for more learning? We have more of an ability of finding our way in this life. Perhaps a meaning to be, to study, to know how to fix or give or how not to take. Not to take abuse. Or not to take what's not ours. How many of us know that? How many of us practice that knowing?---Jody-Lynn Reicher
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