Can't or Won't

Is it that we can't get along? Or is it that we won't get along?

One day in 2016 my fight coach said of a woman who came to him wanting to train for a MMA amateur fight and compete in the cage. As he was training her, he told her to work a new strategy/move with one of the men in the fight gym.  She replied, "I can't." He was stunned because there was nothing wrong with the woman. He then asked, "You can't or you won't?"
Soon after this, my fight coach contacted me, expressing his concern for her unwillingness to train something new. I was appalled that she wouldn't try. For he had 114 MMA fights under his belt, winning 111 of them back in the day before the UFC had become a 'thing'. So the woman that wanted to fight, was discriminating on what she thought she knew for whatever reason.  She wasn't trusting an expert who had all the science she needed for her first fight. That is like shooting yourself in the foot. Believing only what you've been told, what only you perceive to be an obstacle and disregarding any new information.
Flash forward to a few weeks ago. I had given my 2 weeks notice at the place I'd been working. Us team members had created a palatial shopping experience for the customers. So much so, that patrons often thought of applying for work there, even if just for part time work. The other side as an employee was not known to them.
So, on one of my last night shifts we were down from what I could tell to three people and a closing manager, instead we usually had at least 6 or more till 10pm, an hour after the market would close. There's always much to do after closing time.
The three of us employees that remained with the manager, one was in her mid thirties and it was her last day/night working for the market. She received an offer to work elsewhere that she'd applied to 7 months prior.  She was on a tight schedule, as she had to pack up her place of living and move into a new apartment, starting the new job in less than 36 hours.
The other employee was a young man of 23, well-educated, yet hadn't found a position in his field yet. I was in a transitional place in my life and wanted to do a part time out of the house job to accompany my remote business. It would as well suffice to give me new experiences for new writing material.
Here we were that night working past the times expected from us for our shifts. At 11pm that night, the 30-something woman came to the young man and I as we fixed boxes on shelves and the like and held her phone up showing us the time. We hadn't realized what time it was. We were working past our set shift's time.
He and I gave her a hug, wishing her well. She then departed. 6 minutes later he now had exited.  I remained and got to our time clock by about 11:12pm and timed out. Our manager was still working. I told her what we'd accomplished then asked her before I'd timed out, "Hey. You good? You need anything else?" She replied, "Yeah. Good." I said, "Okay. I'm punching out now. I can wait for you tonight. I won't let you leave alone." She remarked, "Well I still have some emails to send..." I interrupted and said, "Its totally fine. I'm not going anywhere. Your safety is important to me."
Next I knew we were talking about the need to be right. As I said to her, "I don't know about you, but I need to be happy. I don't need to be right." She smiled and nodded. I restated, "I'd rather be happy than be right.  Thats how you stay married for 36 years." She remarked, "Yeah."
So, all this brings me to the past week and today. Is it that you need to be right? You can't get along? Or you won't even try to calm down, listen to your words, reflect and come midway, meeting in the center? Because if you won't even try to overcome your discrimination, your assumptions of other cultures, then who are we? What are we?
And this demonstrates to me and the world that you only care about yourself and perhaps preconceived notions. You are unwilling to allow new information to come into your fray. And that you only want to be right, you don't want to be happy. If you don't want to be happy in this union called America, that's on you. Because most of us want to be happy.--- Jody-Lynn Reicher