I had this discussion about food and exercise and addiction and environmental upbringing with an old superior in the Marines last night. She'd been through all ways to stop her overeating... two failed gastric bypasses, aside from all sorts of diets.
Finally, she went to the VA and they resolved her diet issue (she lost over 80 pounds in ten months). But to keep the weight off, the VA realized she needed to look at her ancestoral habits. We shared our flaws that we never knew of each other. And I'd never shared with anyone ever. I traded potentially bad habits for somethings that were innocuous, and I am blessed with being able to have redirected myself when overeating.
I figured out why we did these things. She was busy being a caregiver. I was that way most of my childhood and a large part of my adulthood along with being fantastic worriers. I told her things I do when I worry. I used to not be able to find the tools to satiate my automatic worrying. I was a workaholic, so was she. She held a full time government job, going on Reserve, while she attended college and raised three children with NO Nanny.If I wasn't working (I held a full time job, and at times either created health care classes and taught classes on a weekend or had a speech at night... while training as a professional athlete 16-36 hours a week. Never mind raising children w/hubby, making meals, house chores and the like.)
Basically. I barely slept for the better part of two of the three decades of child-raising and putting in insane hours during day and evening at work. And training many times at 1am in the morning. I was there for everyone in our little family. I did enjoy it.
Yet my husband would shake his head when I'd ask "Why am I so tired?".
My drive was pursued by witnessing my mother's lack of equality, will, etc... And constantly reminded that... "Idleness is the devil's workshop." I despised that saying from my Mom.
My dad would call me "lazy" and "a dummy", just to say it. Meanwhile, I realized even as a child that my parents were quite flawed and that I'd not ever waste time, because I knew I was flawed. So, to not compound the flaws I knew I had being human, I overcompensated by putting out work loads in every aspect of my life. My family did benefit. I may have. One thing I've known, is this life is a constant cycle breaking job.
As my friend and I agreed it's part of being human. And we are all flawed in some way and it's up to each individual to figure it out. Our thoughts became that things we witnessed are now in our rear-view mirror, yet we must acknowledge not to repeat our past ancestoral habits and its a work in progress. Also those habits may arrive in different formats, and you'll wonder why you do what you do in an obsessive compulsive manner.---Jody-Lynn Reicher
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