Skip to main content

Given, Not Loaned...

 



It's funny, the times I felt compelled to help someone in my therapy business. I didn't concern myself with a payback. I barely thought that they would take advantage of me or lie to me. I saw my business as the need for some selflessness, thinking altruistically.

That being said, about six or seven years ago I had a wicked week in my office. Business was down. Yet, people needed me. So I was busy. I was giving discounts for a variety of reasons. Any excuse i could find to give them to reduce the cost to them I figured. And then the six people of that week who I knew I wouldn't take money from.

I ran my business, like usual as I had for nearly three decades. I knew who couldn't afford me. Or rather my full price. I knew the very elderly may have money, especially those living in my county. However, they also would need finances for living, medications, proper medical care, perhaps a live-in caregiver for a better quality of life versus a riskier lonely one.

Too, it mattered that they would be able to still live and enjoy life. Maybe going out to eat or treating a child or grandchild. Perhaps any extra monies they may appear to have could be put into a future college fund for their offspring, niece, grandchild, etc... These are the things I considered. 

Then I considered those people who truly were either already taking state and or federal aid. And those who were doing everything to keep a home, young children in a suburban living situation and not upend their family due to medical conditions.

So, that wicked week? I had six people enter, accepted into my office who I knew could not afford me. But yet were willing to pay whatever I asked of them after session. I actually had a woman who was going to hand me twenty dollars. I stopped her and said, "No. You've got young children. That's all you got. And if anything, your kids need to see you less stressed. Bad enough they understand something is wrong with you. So, buy them ice cream with that instead. Or save it for something else needed. You don't give away the last twenty bucks when you don't know what's coming by the end of the week. Hec. It's only Wednesday." She stunned, stood there holding the twenty. "I'll pay you back." I replied, "No sweat. You don't have to. Next three months are going to be rough for you and your family. Don't think about the money. Your health is most important."

During that week, I had long time, and new clients who were my charity cases. I knew who lied to me for years. I acted in front of them as if I didn't know they were able to afford better vacations that I'd never touch the coattails of in my life. But I ignored their lies. I didn't get angry. I remained peaceful, realizing when people had to lie to me for years that showed me that they were most in trouble and most in loss. They were desperate and would perhaps never find peace. Yet in my office they found kindness and forgiveness. And sometimes in life that's all you can give to a stranger.

Out of about 4,000 clients I'd had, only three did I fire. Twenty I could do without.

Now if clients of mine are reading this, some will be angry. Like 'why didn't they get free treatment'? Or the converse positive thoughts of helping instead of hindering.

At the end of the day, life can be a crap shoot for most of us. And in that, we go with our gut. It's probably the most positive place to be. Our gut is not always monetarily directed it comes from a higher source. The only difference is making the choices we are moved to make.---Jody-Lynn Reicher

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2023 Holiday Letter from the Reicher's

Well, I didn't think I'd be doing a Holiday Letter this year, but here goes... The Spirit of Norm is in the air. As the wind whips with minus a true snowstorm.  In hopes the Farmers Almanac was correct, I pray to the snow gods. Rain ensued the month of December thus far. We have nearly tripled the amount of rainfall usual for December in New Jersey. And I've witnessed its treachery. Storms such as these hit us hardest in July. Then remained fairly intense through til about early October.  Our daughters are doing well, Thank God.  Their Dad would be proud of them. Our oldest Sarah, now a Junior at UCLA pursuing her degree in Chemical Engineering. She's digging the whole California scene. Which I thought it was for her. She's had some good traveling on her off times from school. For her March 2023 week off, she drove her and a few friends out to Lake Tahoe and went downhill skiing for a first in nearly 5 years. She had to rent the ski equipment.  Funny enough when

Maybe It's About Love

Maybe I just don't get it... "...My father sits at night with no lights on..."---Carly Simon  In my male-dominant mind. Dr. Suess-ish sing-songy "...go go go go on an adventure..." (George Santos' escapades gave me permission to use "ish".) I'd been accused of not being detailed enough in my writing. as my writer friend, Caytha put it to me now near twenty years ago. I knew she was correct. It's gotten a lot better, a whole bunch better. But the writing of sex scenes... Well... I'll need Caytha for that.  "...his cigarette glows in the dark..."---Carly Simon  Even my husband Norman could have written the simple sex scenes better than I, that I currently need in my script. And he was not a writer, but a math oriented thinker. Ala carte he was a nurturing romantic. And a sort of romantic Humphrey Bogart to his Ingrid. Otherwise, I won't go into details there. I'll let the mature audiences use their imagination. I am so

Birth is a Lottery

  Yes, this is about Taylor Swift and Love. I’ve had this discussion in depth nearly twenty years ago with a client. We were discussing being grateful for landing where we had in the years we were born.  As to now, after that conversation, my attitude still holds. You gotta kind of be happy for other people in some way, no matter where you came from. It’s like good sportsman-like conduct. You lose, you shake hands, hug, whatever. That is how I’ve handled it 99% of the time, win or lose. I remember one time, one moment in my life I didn’t do that. And I still stand by my not doing so that evening after a competition. Otherwise, every other competitor deserved my congrats.  My fight coach said that I was unusual (2013) because after losing a fight, I act as though I’ve won. To me, it was that I was just so happy to be able to compete. I’ve lost more than I’ve won. I’ll say that again. I’ve lost more than I’ve won. In softball, when I was aged nine (1971), we lost all our games as the &qu