Skip to main content

Part of Life...



So, I saw this post on social media this past week on two occasions...The person shows a set of photos showing her daughter not making a volleyball team in junior high. 

My thoughts go like so...

There should be NO 6th place trophies. Ever!

How's that kid going to know the how or the why to get a job or go for a career she wants?

When do we stop hovering as parents? 

Children need to understand a few things. One, is that very few if any humans are Great or even Good at everything. Secondly, to attain most things in life such as a basic living, perhaps wealth, or a skill set takes work. Consistent, hard work, lots of it. And once in a while depending on the situation, some luck. Yet, I believe it also takes Faith as well. And at times perhaps, the relentlessness of a pit bull-like attitude. 

What I've witnessed in helping corner men as fighters here and there. As well as coaching adults and children for their competitive running and the like. And as well in my therapy business of near three decades. I've learned to listen to the excuses people make about not wanting to drink enough water, not stretching, not eating well, and or not completing a task for their health/sport. Especially, after I've either given a hint or directly suggested how they may help themselves in those areas.  

Some of it may appear as one's own laziness, arrogance, fear, and or misperception on the part of the 'trainee/student/etc...'. 

However, most of the time it is that their will to truly accomplish something is not what they thought they had initially desired. And that's when I say, TANSTAAFL! There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!

When our oldest was in 4th grade, she stated she would go Harvard. As if she were an automatic shoe-in. I stopped her. Looked her straight-on and strongly said, "TANSTAAFL! Noone just deserves anything." She looked at me astonished. Astonished that I did not encourage her remark.

I continued, "You will know this now. There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. And you will always know this." She looked at me bewildered. I walked to the fridge magnet basket and pulled out a pen and a yellow post-it pad. I wrote, TANSTAAFL! There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. On the little yellow piece of paper. 

I said, "Now. Please give me your homework folder that you look inside of every school day." She handed it to me. I proceeded to tape the note inside where she would pull out her homework for the teacher every school day. And said, "You will not remove this piece of paper from inside this folder ever. If it's removed I'll just get another piece of paper and tape that in as well. If need be, explain to your teacher that no matter how smart we are, we all have to work for All things in life."

Part of life? You bet. It constitutes of consistent hard work. And will can beat skills of those that do not put in the time. And not everyone is going to GET THAT JOB. 

I had this happen much to me as a kid (1960's and 1970's). Four tries for a basketball team in Four years, and made the team in my senior year of high school. It wasn't my skill, not my grace, not my knowledge of the game. It was the amplitude of my aggression and the amplitude of my attitude. It was that I accepted my lack of coordination, my lack of grace, my lack of knowledge, my lack of skill. But in my acknowledging all that I lacked, I knew I could and would work consistently with no complaint, no excuse.

 I'd show up EARLY for tryouts. I'd ask for extra help from other kids who'd made the team in the past, before tryouts. I allowed myself to be humbled by their knowledge and incredible skill sets. 

I went in with the attitude of being open, and not attached to any idea. I admitted to myself that as much as I could run far, throw a football, hit a baseball and so forth, I admitted that I knew nothing. And knowing nothing or thinking that you do, can get you places you would have otherwise never gone.---Jody-Lynn Reicher 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Completion of Humanness

Completion of Humanness As we arrive to the completion of the first year without Norman, I had decided long before he'd passed that I would continue to do things certain things he liked yet could no longer do. I decided I would not take a day off of fitness.  I would run at least for 500 days in a row. I began that in early 2020.  I'd not be concerned with the distance I'd run. It was the very thing I convinced Norman and the thing that mattered to him, from the very first discussion we had August 11th, 1981, was fitness. I loved that he was a College Boy. He loved that I was a Marine. We tickled each other's soul with such admirations. Later fitness continued as an old discussion from 1994 ...getting outside and to run no matter what. I would say to him, "Run 200 meters, then 400 meters. If it doesn't feel good, stop. Turn around and walk back home and know you did your best. That is all you can ask of yourself." I said this,  knowing he would get dow

Reicher's 2021 Holiday Letter

  11/23/2021... The Reicher Holiday Letter... Yes, finally I'm on time...LOL. As the late November wind whips and the delayed leaves fall to the ground in our neighborhood, I await the first sign of snow. I stand outside, begin a run, do outside chores, bring in the mail and sniff the air for the smell of snow. Yes, humans can smell snow. Just like a spring rain approaching. It is awaiting to provide a cleansing of the dreams that need to be refreshed or re-routed. It’s all how you look at it. Really. Oh, the word ‘really’.   Per a few grammar writing geeks. A good writer is not supposed to use the word, ‘really’. I’ll say it again. Really? There is another word I discovered this year, not supposed to be used in writing by writers. I cannot at this moment remember what word that may be.   But I’m sure, it’ll arrive in my mind as I write this Holiday letter to you all. A reading audience. Where to begin this 2021 Reicher Holiday Letter? I’ll start with our smallest resident. T

In My World

As I finish putting away the week's groceries, I contemplate other's lives. Aside from my two daughters,  I consider what may be other's lives.  How they have conducted their lives over the past two years.  This is a thought not unusual for me to have. Yet, it occurs more often than not. Especially  now, as the population is probably feeling ever more irked. Regarding perhaps. their illusion of any lack of their freedom. But isn't that what life is about? The illusion of who we are. What we are about. Where we stand on the planet. Who we love. And who loves us. Our significance. Couldn't we imagine if this were all just an illusion? Sounds like a "Twighlight Zone" episode, perhaps. My aim here, are the thoughts of reckoning. I'll explain why I'm claiming such a thing. For about twenty-eight years of a career in dealing with injured athletes,  pain patients, chronically ill and the terminally ill. I found that there were many people who lied to