When did I start getting disgusted? This morning after reading about Kinzinger's regret about voting not to impeach the former 45th POTUS on the Ukraine issue in 2019. I began to look back, far back to my childhood. As when did I begin to feel disgusted about human's behaviors.Was it the first time my mom said, "Don't stare." ? Because I wondered how someone else with disabilities got through their day? Could I help them? I know I wanted to. Even back then, I couldn't handle watching others suffer and be discarded from the rest of society.
By age thirteen, I found most Jewish kids were nicer than Christian kids. I found that people of color had big hearts, lots of love. As a matter of fact, more love that I'd seen from my own.
Every day I hoped so much for humanity. To the point, as my mother's health was ever more compromised by her family, her husband and the medical field. I remained so steadfast in my hope and faith, that my mother blurted out, when I was age eleven.
All the while in the midst of my being harassed nearly daily by the kids in town, I remained outwardly upbeat. Yet I hoped that my 'not fighting back' 99% of the time for those first three years in a new school/town, that those children would understand that my lack of fighting back was my compassion and understanding of them. I hoped they'd become better older teenagers, perhaps better adults.
Finally, hope may run dry too. The more I study, the more I work, the more I contemplate, pray. The more I realize humans are only a tad different than our wild animals in nature, in their actions/words.
Over the past few years, as Americans were becoming more openly 'woke'.... as they say nowadays. The old guard who, some hold close to their hearts and minds the bigotries of the Confederacy. Yes, statues of the bigoted should be reduced to rubble. If not, then freedom has lost. True equality has been dashed to a trillion pieces. Then there is no way out of our wars. Wars that shouldn't be.