Skip to main content

There Are Things...


There are things in life you truly never want to have to tell your children, but must.  And there things in life most will NOT ever have to explain to their children. In turn, many will NOT be compelled to discuss nor bring up certain traumatic events/subjects with any real depth or knowledge to another human being. 

Years ago my worry was, 'How do I explain certain things in my family's past that are tragic, without traumatizing my children?' Its a great question.

There is a time and a place for everything.  You just have to wait for it, and bank on your soulful intuition.

Today, realizing my one daughter is now eighteen. I arrived at a sobering thought. A reminder of sorts. Something I knew about way before I was age eleven. Yet, as I explained it, I told her I was blessed. That was my explanation of how I avoided a tragedy, that many other children in the past in my family were unable to avoid. 

As well, intuitively I was a protector of sorts. As busy as I've always been,  I've made it a point to remain a protector of sorts. I laid the ground work with my now deceased husband for our daughters to know what NOT to accept as normal.  We explained what abuse was, early on. We made certain others did too, while we watched our daughters in their martial art classes for over a decade.

So, after a quiet New Year's Eve last night, before she headed to work, I made her a cup of coffee. I began to tell her what cruelty was. However,  just before that I said, "You did the right thing last night. This is serious business." She seemed disappointed, yet nodded. She understood.

I explained to her why certain people in my family were out of control when I was a kid,  and the ones who were innocent were punished by it. As well, as how it effected generations on one side of my family. My mother tried to break the cycle. However, I was the one who did.

There was more than one cycle among girls and women in my family that needed to be broken. One my sister and I did.  And one I was the beginning of Breaking through, and was successful at. Yes, there are always more cycles to be broken. However, those two were the most oppressive and damning. And now I've uncloaked the skeleton in the closet to our oldest daughter. I did that today.

It took a few minutes to explain a chunk of it. Yet, on some level without my saying so, she knows that today because of her overall actions of responsibility that she HAS demonstrated,  I knew she was ready for some damning traumatic information.  And so, it was delivered. The raw, straightforward, disdainful and painful information that will protect her as it has, as well protect others in the future. ----Jody-Lynn Reicher


Popular posts from this blog

The Reicher's Official Holiday Letter

  “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” ---Ralph Waldo Emerson There are many ways to shed light on seemingly impossible situations or what we would consider obstacles to our daily living. It is not always in our daily intake and output that is the measurement of a human being. It is the grind. Some people struggle with miniscule grinds; while others have bus loads to grind through. Some don’t make it. Few do. Making it, is not, not dying. It’s progressing through even when there appears no light at the end of the tunnel. That there may not even be a twinkle of a star in the nights ahead. And the human that faces that, knowing full well that they can’t change the ending to their earthly story. Yet, they consciously go through the process, has made it. They’ve lived. No matter their age, I believe that, to be one of Life’s truths. As this year has progressed, the pandemic actually blessed us. Yep. Many would not agree with that. But then, they weren’t us. They weren’t our

To Laconia and Canada Too

 He began, "So, I got this deal..."  Me, "Yeah?" Norman,  "I went up on 23, and saw her. " Me, "Where did you go?" Norman, "Sport Spot on 23 South.  And there she was." Me, "Uh oh."😊 Norman,  "I'm graduating to a BMW.  She was sitting there. 1986, an R80RT. A touring sportster... " Me, "What about the Yamaha, Norm?" Norman, "I'll get a buyer before I have to pick up the R80RT." It was 1987, we'd just had a semi long motorcycle ride up North together for a week. New England that'd be.  Norman was all enthralled about the open road. Married just over three years at the time, and he rediscovered a new love.  Me wary, yet curious.  'Maybe she'll ride easier.  Less bumpy on certain roadways of upstate New York'. Norman even had me considering getting a motorcycle license.  I'd driven nearly every style, engine from small military jeep to tractor trailers...

Completion of Humanness

Completion of Humanness As we arrive to the completion of the first year without Norman, I had decided long before he'd passed that I would continue to do things certain things he liked yet could no longer do. I decided I would not take a day off of fitness.  I would run at least for 500 days in a row. I began that in early 2020.  I'd not be concerned with the distance I'd run. It was the very thing I convinced Norman and the thing that mattered to him, from the very first discussion we had August 11th, 1981, was fitness. I loved that he was a College Boy. He loved that I was a Marine. We tickled each other's soul with such admirations. Later fitness continued as an old discussion from 1994 ...getting outside and to run no matter what. I would say to him, "Run 200 meters, then 400 meters. If it doesn't feel good, stop. Turn around and walk back home and know you did your best. That is all you can ask of yourself." I said this,  knowing he would get dow