I really never expect…
Anyone to help me.
Funny, enough. I’ve never thought anyone would ever just volunteer. That is
without an agenda, usually costing me money or something. Which I may not have.
I look back now, and I know where that comes from. It comes from the fact that when I needed help
the most as a child, it didn’t come in human form. It either didn’t appear or I learned how to.
Or a miracle occurred where somehow, I didn’t have to depend on anyone, that was
human. Like the situation resolved or it became less important.
So now here many decades after childhood; I’ve reminded
myself throughout my life that no one will just ‘help’ you. Out of the goodness
of their heart. I don’t ever expect it. I don’t ever expect anyone to rescue
me. I stand alone when my spouse is down. I know all of everything that is
presented and occurs in my life, is my responsibility. And that is because, it
has always been that way for me. It is that simple. There is no blame. Because blaming doesn’t
pay the bills. It doesn’t win the race or the fight. It doesn’t write the
screenplay. It doesn’t write the book. Even when there is someone to blame; I’m
mature enough to know that what is, just is. And to move along. Let all the
unimportant things of yesterday fall by the wayside.
I let them fall by the wayside, because I have enough to
take care of. I have no strength for excess baggage. Nor excess things. Nor
excess weight of any kind. I don’t care what people think. I have no time to
ponder such frivolous thoughts. I have high enough demands I place on my own life.
No one can imagine the demands I put on myself. Nor could they imagine what
demands I have agreed to in private with my Maker. ---Jody-Lynn Reicher
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