Skip to main content

Till Death Do Us Part... And Then Some




Till Death Do Us Part

Probably one of the most difficult things to be, is married. Actually, staying married. Of course, there are other things in life that some experience. Then there are things in life that one in five experience. Then there are things in life that one in thirty experience. Then there are things in life that one in a hundred thousand experience. Then there are things in life that only three people in eight million (approximately) people experience as well. I’ll stop there for now. I know I could go on listing stats of different situations others have or have not experienced, in some fashion.

My point being, is that a high percentage of us adults in America have either been married, or have gone to a wedding, or our parents were or are currently married. Marriage is something that most of us somehow can relate to as adults. That being said. The old-fashioned wedding vows of ‘till death do us part’, it appears that no one seems to always truly understand what that all means.  And I don’t just mean by today’s standards. I mean since some form of we humans have walked the face of the earth. Like ohhhhh, the last fifty thousand years.

When there is a relationship such committed as a marriage between two people, it’s work. It’s daily work. No matter how you agree, there is always something you won’t agree on, and that’s normal. If there weren’t those differences, big or little there would be no way to bond, other than let’s say consummating. Consummation is NOT the glue that holds the marriage together. Especially, as we get busier perhaps with children, and or the caregiving of either our relatives or our spouses and the like. Never mind having chores and or working full-time, paying bills, as well.

With being in a marriage to another human being, no matter who, what religion, what culture, what economic status, nor education, it should be about devotion. Devotion to the degree that there is an unwritten willing compromise between those two individuals in their relationship. The spouse is the person who hopefully knows you best. When you hurt, they hurt.  When they hurt, you hurt. Yet, when they hurt, you can bring them to a level beyond hope. You can be real with them. Yet, perhaps you are their sunshine in the clouds.  As they, your spouse are the emphatic silver lining in your clouds. They hold your hand in times when you need someone to lean on.  And you hold their hand in times when they need someone to lean on.

My now deceased husband and I had been through all those stats previously posted in the first paragraph here, and then some. Yes, most people go through two of those stats or similar ones together before they finish a marriage of thirty years or more. We made thirty-six years of marriage plus. And in saying that, you never know what is around the corner. You just hope and pray that you both can ride the wave with each other, in whatever the other needs support in. And when you have children, it shouldn’t change. It is still ‘till death do us part’.

In the end, there will always be divides, crevasses and the like in a marriage. But hopefully, eventually those crevasses are sewn together.  As well at the right time. Because true love is stronger than the quicksand of the abyss of chaos of not having such a complete bond in a marriage.---Jody-Lynn Reicher


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It Follows Me...

One may wonder what would inspire someone to work hard labor voluntarily. For me it’s the love of many things. It’s the passion that won’t be broken. Because there are so many aspects to such service for me, that it may seem beyond comprehension. I’d compare it to my youthful desire to enter the military as a young child. Then for a multitude of reasons only to follow through thirteen years later at age eighteen entering the Marines. There were things that followed me throughout my life. Sometimes they were questions of how I ever gave up my over decade’s life dream to become a New Jersey State Trooper. My childhood desire to never wed—to never have any serious relationships with another human being. I desired only service in military and law enforcement nearly my whole childhood. Too the extent that even one of my Marine Corps superiors expressed to me last July, “I never thought you’d ever get married. It just wasn’t who you were. You were always a loner.” I replied, “Yeah. I know.
Post a Comment
Read more

Sledging the Hammer

  "You could have a steam trainIf you'd just lay down your tracks..."---Peter Gabriel's 'Sledgehammer' lyrics. This is not the tune that lay in my mind this morning as I reminisced about yesterday's volunteers to help on trail crew.    However, as I looked up the proper definition of sledging that song popped up. I say sledging, which is my own take on swinging a hammer that we call a "Double Jack". The Single Jack is six pounds. I know that because our regular crew of five including me and one staff supervisor are handling Harriman State Park Trails, and have to carry about four of those, two shaping hammers, along with a hoist, belay bag with heavy equipment, first aid kit, double Jack, three 18lb rock bars, a lopper, three buckets, three eye to eyes, two burlap straps, two green wrapping straps, two pick Mattox, a roe hoe or two, a bar for either the two ton or one ton hoist, the feathers with pegs for splitting rocks that we drill... s
Post a Comment
Read more

Death in the Distant Future...

  Death in the Distant Future… Or at least that is what its supposed to be. We don’t suppose people should die at a certain age. We will witness suffering; but we know it gets better. So, we’ve been told. Or so, we have hope that it will. There are instances of mass tragedy. Sometimes we call that war—maybe insanity—perhaps terrorism… We have names for it, that type of death. Then there are the terminals. Things we think we can control—once we know the enemy within.   Or things we follow, pray for, aim for. We hold hands for it. Or we choose to suffer with the suffering because it matters. And it doesn’t matter how it matters. Then there is some form of Universal Order. A tainted weird line of fate. Perhaps mathematically calculated in everyone’s existence. No matter how great, how menial a life on earth may appear there’s a geometric wave—a pattern. We can involve other mathematical ideologies—Fibonacci, perhaps. And each of our lives are formulas. Formulas appearing misundersto
2 comments
Read more