Till Death Do Us Part
Probably one
of the most difficult things to be, is married. Actually, staying married. Of
course, there are other things in life that some experience. Then there are
things in life that one in five experience. Then there are things in life that one
in thirty experience. Then there are things in life that one in a hundred
thousand experience. Then there are things in life that only three people in eight
million (approximately) people experience as well. I’ll stop there for now. I
know I could go on listing stats of different situations others have or have
not experienced, in some fashion.
My point
being, is that a high percentage of us adults in America have either been
married, or have gone to a wedding, or our parents were or are currently
married. Marriage is something that most of us somehow can relate to as adults.
That being said. The old-fashioned wedding vows of ‘till death do us part’, it
appears that no one seems to always truly understand what that all means. And I don’t just mean by today’s standards. I
mean since some form of we humans have walked the face of the earth. Like
ohhhhh, the last fifty thousand years.
When there
is a relationship such committed as a marriage between two people, it’s work. It’s
daily work. No matter how you agree, there is always something you won’t agree
on, and that’s normal. If there weren’t those differences, big or little there
would be no way to bond, other than let’s say consummating. Consummation is NOT the glue that holds the marriage together. Especially, as we get busier perhaps
with children, and or the caregiving of either our relatives or our spouses and
the like. Never mind having chores and or working full-time, paying bills, as
well.
With being
in a marriage to another human being, no matter who, what religion, what culture,
what economic status, nor education, it should be about devotion. Devotion to
the degree that there is an unwritten willing compromise between those two individuals
in their relationship. The spouse is the person who hopefully
knows you best. When you hurt, they hurt.
When they hurt, you hurt. Yet, when they hurt, you can bring them to a
level beyond hope. You can be real with them. Yet, perhaps you are their
sunshine in the clouds. As they, your spouse are the emphatic silver lining in your clouds. They hold your hand in
times when you need someone to lean on.
And you hold their hand in times when they need someone to lean on.
My now deceased husband
and I had been through all those stats previously posted in the first
paragraph here, and then some. Yes, most people go through two of those stats
or similar ones together before they finish a marriage of thirty years or more.
We made thirty-six years of marriage plus. And in saying that, you never
know what is around the corner. You just hope and pray that you both can ride
the wave with each other, in whatever the other needs support in. And when you
have children, it shouldn’t change. It is still ‘till death do us part’.
In the end,
there will always be divides, crevasses and the like in a marriage. But hopefully,
eventually those crevasses are sewn together. As well at the right time. Because true love
is stronger than the quicksand of the abyss of chaos of not having such a complete
bond in a marriage.---Jody-Lynn Reicher
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