“What if it’s Been All Wrong?”
As the story goes of a particular judge in the end of the nineteenth century… ‘…He hated his wife and he hated his life… And there he lay on his deathbed and with his last breathes he said, “What if it’s been all wrong?”
Recently, I explained to my husband when a person pursues on pushing their agenda, sometimes they do it innocently. Sometimes they do it because they are disappointed in life and they are angry. Usually, I see this as people get older, nearing retirement age. Some become more forceful and forward on their beliefs. Quite often the more educated and the more weight that they’ve held in society, is when that occurs. Career areas, such as having been in law, education, finance or in medicine they are apt to think they know more than most. As well, if they are a bit older than the other person they are speaking with. Those people in their expertise, appear to transpose their expertise in one field and think they know more in another. One thing I know is, they most likely don’t.
As well, when they push their agenda so hard, not recognizing it is draining to others. As well it maybe and most likely is unnecessary, and unkind to the people they are aiming it at. Especially, if the person is ill, or they are taking care of the ill, doing that act of being pushy is a sin. In the Old Testament these sins are explained. One can be an innocent mistake of not understanding what you are doing to the ill or dying patient, caregiver spouse, family, friend, etc… That in the Old Testament can be forgiven. However, there are those in our society who know what they are doing when they are being so forceful, that is a sin. And that sin will be reckoned with. How? I have no clue. It’s up to Karma, God, Allah, Yahweh, Krishna, etc… But I know there will be retribution and a reckoning to that soul who sinned in that fashion, against others.
This thought today brings me to Leo Tolstoy’s 1886 novella, “The Death of Ivan Ilych”. I find in the end of many people’s lives, of those who are discontented. Those so discontented with retiring, perhaps knowing a life of grandstands or speeches, what have you. Well, it’s over for them. They are no longer the ‘go to gal or guy.’ So, instead of reveling in having worked a great career. Or perhaps, making it to the finish line with their career, business, or parenting. They resent it. That resentment, is not Faith-based. That resentment is ego-based (ego=Edging God Out). When ego is applied to everything we are, everything we do, it becomes an anchor. It drags us through the abyss of loneliness. It does not reward us. Yet, it hinders humanity. It hinders new ideas, growth of the soul and other souls. And that is a sin against humanity. To me, it is equal to murder. ---Jody-Lynn Reicher