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I Run...

  I Run That’s what I do. I run, not to run away but towards. I run with severe commitment, whether anyone is watching me or not—I imagine perhaps no one is watching. I run under-the-wire, with my own insignificance. Just a temporary grain of sand made of stardust and ash perhaps. Yes, I’ve competed in hundreds of running events and have done my own charitable runs; however, many times it was to give me an excuse to put in massive amounts of miles for my own scientific reasons. Some people run to socialize, I don’t. Many compete for a prize; I have found that has not been all of my driving force to run for miles or hours after hours. I’ve competed many times hoping to win, to show my running was not for naught. But no matter how much I demonstrated outside of my insignificant world of long-distance running, it was still unacceptable to those I was trying to stop from hating me for my different approaches to living—they felt that their knowing of my running impinged upon their l...
Recent posts

I Expect the Apology

  ... that I may not receive. By now I've figured out who the enemies of our democracy are. Yes, its the current occupiers of our white house, majority of those in the house and the senate. But wait there's more. Its people I'd considered part of my inner circle, and they are no longer there. Some still think we have a connection, but we don't.   I've always been leary of most. There's a fragmented position in friendships. I'll explain.  Most people who are my friends don't know it. And there have been many who thought I was their friend, but I wasn't. I have had so many people fooled into believing I was for them to the point others later said privately, "I thought you guys were tight. Like you knew everything about them." The answer has been a collage of "No." Or perhaps, "Maybe". Its usually not confirmed to another. My husband was the only one who'd known the extensions of my friendships and how I'd actually ...

In Awakening

I awaken every morning with the thought of, 'What do others do?'. Its just a thought after I realize I'm still here. I still exist in this human vessel and I do thank my maker in that moment before I hit the button of non-sleep on my Fitbit. I arrive at thoughts with my hands clasped behind my head, something I'd seen my now deceased husband do many years ago. However, I don't believe our thoughts would be the same. Or perhaps anyone else's thoughts would be considered the same as mine. Because I am in my vessel and they have been in their's. As I lay there looking up and out with my hands clasped behind my head I take a deep breath and wonder what would happen if I just stayed here? Would it be as if my existence would be void of the vessel? Had I escaped the moments, hours, day for the time being? Would it matter to the world? Or at all? Does the world not continue to turn on its axis? One thing I know in those moments, is that for those fleeting moments...

Doing With Less

Will our Democracy, Rule of Law be saved if we tread lightly? No. Large media outlets in general are giving that sensory dynamic off in their news reporting. And I'm certain we may not survive as a free nation that needs to buckle down on progress of freedom and equality for all. When we lose that ideology as a nation we've lost our freedoms even if we have people in power that look like us.  It appears as if someone took most of the Erin Brocovichs and Bob Woodwards and shut them out of the ability to record, report and/or video the truth; however, there are US citizens who are not reporters now filming and reporting what news media outlets refuse to do completely. When they omit information in their news report, their report becomes an untruth. The newspaper outlets are reporting hundreds of protestors when there are thousands. They're reporting thousands across our country when there were over 13 million protestors on one day. If we want the truth givers, like the electe...

Marriage is a Corporate Venture

Recently I spoke with a relative just days after his spouse of over 50 years had passed. I expressed the things I had to learn before my husband passed. It was mostly items such as the care and use of the lawn mower, our small generator (if needed), cleaning the dryer vent one to two times a year.  The beauty of our 36 year marriage was we shared nearly every chore. We didn't have landscapers, neither cleaning ladies. No, we were a typical middle class couple with two kids and three pets. And I can say, my husband was entrenched in our chores. We never had to ask one another much of anything when it came to that. However, as I've listened to people who'd suddenly lost a spouse of decades I noticed the difference in those relationships. As devoted as they were to each other, I had a woman over 20 years ago tell that she didn't know how to shut the water off in her home. She had no clue about their home in nearly every way. She'd then realized upon her husband's ...

Rolling With the Dice…Thrown

  When I worked in defense contracting for a UK/NATO corporation, I’d had great bosses. I can say in my work careers I’ve almost always lucked out with having either great bosses or people I worked with in most of my jobs before and after I’d started my own business which lasted nearly 30 years.  As I was ending my obligated military time with the Marines, I’d gone to school from 1983-1985 for accounting. It was difficult, as I’d gotten married at that time, then worked in corporate by 1984, and was attempting to make the Olympic Trials for the Marathon too. I took a year 1987 to focus on training, worked minimally for a year. My husband and I had some tragedy, as well I’d gotten multiple injuries from muscle/tendon issues that were perhaps caused by a couple of birth defects I was unaware of. By mid-1988 I was back in the corporate atmosphere once again. And making about 20% more than I had when I’d left it in 1987, it was with a different company and a different position. ...

I Tell Stories In My Kitchen

  Ernest Hemmingway was known for his story telling; however, many may not know that the reading public perhaps saw at most ten percent of his writings. I am no Ernest Hemmingway. Yet, I have evolved as a writer since age seven when I’d started to enjoy writing. I had no idea what would come of my writing. My mother didn’t always give encouragement to it. She’d expressed that writers always had sad lives. She’d mentioned Mark Twain, who I’d thought highly of what little I’d read of his works. The rest of my immediate family as a child were big readers. My older brother, Don, read all Tom Sawyer’s adventures, The Hardy Boys, Agatha Christie novels and the like. My dad read Thor Heyerdahl’s Aku-Aku, Kon-Tiki and similar books. My mother read quite a bit as well. I cannot recall what she’d read; however, she was always reading when not doing a chore or at work. My little sister more than thirteen years my junior I am uncertain of what she’d read or currently reads; however, I believ...